It’s about 5 olclock. Im in room 330 at the Fort Walton Beach Medical Center.  My mom called me around 7 this morning to tell me that uncle Kim was out of control.  I immediately jumped out of bed and threw on some cloths. I jumped in a my car and took the 3 minute trip to my mothers.  My uncle Kim is a 57 year man with down syndrome.  He is the kindest man I’ve ever known, and he taught me what it really meant to be compassionate.  My mother has taken care of him for 36 years.  We never had any clue how he would turn out the older he got.  But, we were all dedicated to making sure he had a great life.  When I got to my mothers I raced from my car towards the front door.  I could see her standing by the door on the phone.  As I walked in I could see Kim upstairs.  Mom looked at me and said be careful he is violent today.  So I ran upstairs immediately try to restrain him.  He had been throwing things and trying to hit my mother.  I quickly grabbed him and helped him to the ground.  It’s so hard for me to see him this way.  Kim and I have been like brothers my whole life. For half my life I shared a room with him, and he will always be my best friend.  Kim was screaming as loud as he could.   He had no clue that it was me sitting with him trying to make him feel better.  My heart sank with every punch he threw.   I could see my mother crying downstairs.  She was still on the phone. By this time she was on the phone with 911.  I held him for about 30 minutes until my mom yelled the deputy is here.

When the deputy got there I was relieved and also I thought to myself, what the hell is a deputy going to do?  But none the less I was glad he was there.  My mom pointed to where we were and he started his way up the stairs.  When the deputy walked in I couldn’t believe.  It was a friend from high school.  I said ” Hey Kyle, I think we got a problem here.” He said ” Hey Jeremy, I’m sorry to see you under these circumstances.”  At this point I notice he is putting his taser away.  It was hard to imagine that the situation with uncle Kim had come to this.  The whole time Kim is still screaming at the top of his lungs and throwing punches and kicks.  Kyle Kept asking me what he could do.  I kept saying, I don’t know man.  They went through their normal routine of asking all kinds of questions about his past/medical history/shit like that.   By this time the whole medical parade was there, EMS, Fire Department, Cops, other people I don’t even know.   They kept asking him questions realizing that he was not capable of giving an answer.  Finally they said “we have to get him out of here.” So we proceed to go through one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  We had to restrain him and carry him to the ambulance.  He is crying and shouting like I’ve never heard anyone shout or cry before.  They asked me to ride with him, with hopes that it would make it better.  But he had no clue who I was.  It’s sad when someone you have known your whole live stares into your eyes and you can see that they don’t know you, and worst yet that they hate you.  The EMS assistant was actually kind of freaked, and said helped me hold his legs down. So I did.  It’s hard to believe this frail old man can be so strong.   Luckily my mother lives about 2 minutes from the hospital.

When we arrived at the hospital, I could see that medical professionals were ready for us.  We opened the door and they immediately realized this situation was serious.  Kim was kicking and screaming and completely out of his mind.  They rushed him in the ER sort of blindly.  They don’t really know what to do with a man like Kim.   They roll him in and put him in a room and of course it takes about 2 hrs to see a doctor.  The doctor finally comes in and says I’m calling his doctor we don’t know what to do with him.   So by this time Uncle Kim has calmed down and is relaxing.   We are all relived that he is finally out of his so called funk.   We wait in the ER for most of the day and finally they move Kim up to a room.  We we get into the room, kim still feels good.  Having fun and joking around in his own way.  The relief is great at this point.  We are all exhausted from the mornings events.  A little while goes by and we notice Kim is getting aggravated.  Kim fell right back into his hell.  It lasted for another 2 hrs.  They finally gave him some Valium thinking that it would help.  It didn’t.  It was so hard to get him to calm down.

And now….. as I sit here…. waiting for him to lose it again.  I can’t help but think that this is it for the Kim I once knew.  His dementia has taken over.  Im so thankful for being raised with him.  He taught my sister and I  so much.  It was such a gift.  I don’t know what is going to happen from this point on.   Im sure it will get worse.  Im sure it will be hard.  But I will be here as long as I can.  I love my uncle kim….. Im sad it had to end this way.  I just cant talk about it anymore.

The New Year…..

New Years eve is overwhelming so much pressure to get smashed and be an idiot. This year I played wii and wrote another song for my sad collection of songs.

New Year please click new year. Farewell……

A wedding to remember….

A while ago I started writing a blog about my friend jimmies wedding and never posted it. I started rambling. But here it is anyway.;)

This past weekend Ava and I drove to St. Augustine to attend one of my best friends wedding.  It was a joyous occasion.  We all chipped in and rented a really nice house right on the beach.  It was great. The view was to die for. When we arrived we were immediately hit with a bombardment of friends and celebration.  I was really happy to see a lot of my old friends. Friends I had not seen or spoken to in many years.  It’s always a bit awkward to just try to pick back up where you had left off.  But it only took a few minutes and we were back at it. Swearing at each other or punching each other in various body parts.  It’s amazing how barbaric I become when I see certain friends.  The first night was fun.  It was the official bachelor/bachelorette party.  We walked what seem to be about 5 miles to another house where there was a party happening for the bride and groom. After hanging there a minute the grooms party decided it was time for shots.(oh Neat).  So of course being the good sport I walked down to a crappy bar called Jacks and took shots with my good friends.  You feel like such an idiot doing shots.  Getting drunk that fast and shouting and putting aside all manners and moral code.  But for some reason, it all felt right.  My friend  was getting married and he is a great man.  When I really start to recap and think about the night.  All the moments of shouting and cursing and shoving were brought on by the sharing of old memories.  We have so many memories of what that crew of friends has done together.  Things I will never forget.  Some happy, some sad.  Some funny, some tragic.  We have done our best to stay in touch, but like all friends do at some point in life, we have grown apart.  Nothing intentional, but life goes on.  We grow older, we get married, we have kids, we move far away, or we never move away.  At some point in our friendships, every single one of those friends have been there for me in some way at some point.

I’m not going to go into great detail about the wedding.  But it was great to see my friends Jenn and Jimmy get married. They have worked harder than any couple to make it work.  To me they represent what it takes to be devoted to the person you love no matter what.  Jimmy is one of my best friends.  In the past 5 years he has been there for me day in a day out.  He is never too busy to take time out and call me to make sure I’m hanging in there.  So thanks Jim:) Going back to St. Augustine can never be the same for me since I left.  But I’m thankful for this wedding and this time with friends.  It taught me that once again life goes on.  Life gets better if you make it better, and no looking back.  I mostly likely will never feel the way I once did about St. Augustine.  But I’m so thankful for the time I spent there and the friends I made.